Life is moments.

Today has been quite a rough day. It started at 6am, after 4 hours of broken up sleep being kept awake by the cats (my brother in-law got the kids 2 cats as an early Christmas present). After which I rushed to the gym for a training session, and then did the rest of my Christmas shopping, came home wrapped a few of them up, before having to rush to work for my 6 hour shift.

After work I got some very bad news, that I will not share at this moment in time. But would appreciate any prayers or happy thoughts anyone can spare for my family at this time, until we learn more.

I am finally finished my Christmas shopping save one gift, that I will be purchasing on the 28th (keep in mind we are doing our Christmas on New Years Eve).

Christmas present central!

Thor & Mia the cats.

I have also managed to see The Hobbit, it was brilliant and I highly recommend it to any Lord of The Rings/Fantasy fans out there. The cinematography and storytelling is just beyond words. I would love nothing more then to be involved in those films (though I know the chances for that have sailed far away) it is still a huge dream of mine. 

Alas that is all for this week, wishing you all a very Merry Christmas on Tuesday!!

Byeeee :)

6 Days

It's nearly been exactly a week since I started my healthy eating diet plan. It hasn't been going horribly but then again it hasn't been a complete success either. Whereas I do make sure my meals have remained healthy, its been harder for me not to snack on chocolates etc. then I thought it would be. That being said, I'm really enjoying the gym, even when my trainer kicks my ass. Sure shoulder presses and anything related to weight lifting might not be my favorite thing to do in the world, but I know that what its doing is building my muscle and toning my arms, and that in the long scheme of things it will benefit me.

I got around to watching Perks of Being a Wallflower before going to bed last night, and thought it was such an amazingly beautiful story. The movie really touched me, and got me thinking on things. Which just made me want to read the book that much more. I could for sure relate to Charlie, and although I haven't gone through the same amount of pain and loss in my life as he did, it was something that left me dwelling on how much I've come through in my life, and how much I've grown. 

The work Christmas party was a good night, I danced the night away with my friends from work, and although I wish the music was better, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The beginning of my being there a bit rocky. I did sort of feel out of place, and bored, but then I realised I clearly wasn't going to have any fun just sitting there and watching everyone else dance and have fun, and that I had to get off my butt and do something. Once I managed to do that it turned out to be a top night, and it was definitely very good for me to be able to get out and socialize.

Saturday I'll be going Christmas shopping which I'm looking forward to, but I'm not sure how many presents I'll still have left to buy by the end of the day, so we'll see how good it turns out in the end. I should also hopefully be going to see The Hobbit soon, I've been waiting for this movie for ages and just cannot wait to go and see it!

Aside from all that really not much going on, so I shall leave it here. Byeeee! :)

On Track

Today is/was the first official day of my healthy eating plan, although it may not have kick started in the best way. When I got to work early this morning they had a very nice bakery tray with donuts, croissants, and bagels sitting there. So of course I couldn't help myself and my breakfast choice was a bagel which isn't bad, however that bagel was accompanied by one mini croissant, and a chocolate glazed donut. So definitely not a great start however I managed to stay on track for the rest of the day.  

I went to the gym for a training session after work, and then did my massive grocery shop which I was shocked only came to a grand total of $80. Not too bad considering all the stuff I got. I had a late lunch so made myself a salad and with that I had 3 veggie tenders (which would be my replacement of a lean meat as a veggie) followed by some Quaker Crispy Mini's (90 calories) for a snack, and later on I wasn't feeling quite so hungry so my dinner was just a peanut butter sandwich with a small portion of chocolate soya milk. I also had a few strawberries as a snack afterwards, so all in all minus the mini croissant and chocolate glazed donut, not a half bad start to eating healthy. 

I got myself some shoes for the work Christmas party tomorrow, which I'm not entirely sure I will manage to keep on my feet the entire evening, but I thought they were so pretty and that they'd go with my outfit, so I just had to have them. 

Those shoes with the gold glitter nail polish I bought, and the ring and little gold/diamond bow earrings that made it in my last blog, will be worn with this outfit. 

I'm quite excited, and think it will be a top evening. Here is to hoping I am right!
I also purchased the rest of my sisters Christmas present and some lovely little socks for myself. I looove my socks, they're amazing. 

Two Christmas presents bought and wrapped.

Best socks ever!

Hope you all have a very lovely weekend and hope that I manage to stay on track with my new "diet"! :)

Christmas Spirit.

Today was quite busy in a way. I got up and rushed to the gym for my hour training session with Rily, after which I did a spot of shopping and finished buying one of the many Christmas gifts I need to buy, luckily for me we're doing Christmas on the 31st this year so I've still got time to finish up with everyone else. I finished buying my niece Morgan's gift, and started on my nieces Melissa, and Melody, and also started my sisters Christmas gift so far. 

If you're wondering why we're doing Christmas on New Years Eve rather than on actual Christmas day this year, the reason is because my siblings are married and therefor we alternate Christmas every year. One year we as a family will have Christmas on Christmas day together, and the next year we have Christmas on New Years so that my siblings and their spouses may spend Christmas with their Spouses family as well. I think all in all it's a fair trade, and works rather well. 

I got myself a tiny golden Christmas tree for my room...I'm not sure why but I am currently obsessed with anything and everything GOLD!!!

 

Isn't it just adorable? (The Halloween card in the back is from my friend Lucy and will remain up all year round, regardless of it no longer being Halloween.)

I also wrapped up Morgan's gift as little kids have prying eyes, and I didn't want her sneaking a glance at her present, I love wrapping gifts so much, even if it will get destroyed I just love wrapping them up and making it so nice and pretty. 

 
            Wrapping Centre

It's been so easy and fun for me to get in the Christmas spirit this year, and I cannot wait for New

Years Eve to come so I can have a nice lovely Christmas with my family!

I also got myself a few little tid-bits today. I got some earrings and a ring for my outfit to the work Christmas Party on Saturday night, and 2 new nail polishes. 

 

Well that's all for today so until next time...BYEEE! :)

December.

I cannot believe that it's December already, 2012 has been a year filled with sooo many things for me. January 2012 kick started with me taking a trip to Chicago with my friend Amber; who I'd never actually met in person until we met at the airport for our flight. We have a mutual friend and had been talking on facebook for years but never actually met until the day we left for Chicago. We had a good weekend visit in Chicago, and enjoyed some deep-dish pizza and a visit with my friend Stephanie on our first night there, and then got to see The Wanted the next day, and explored Millennium Park quickly before heading to the airport on day 3 in Chicago. Those 3 days in Chicago a friendship was built that will last a life time and I couldn't be more thankful to The Wanted for making it possible. 

April quickly came, which was a crazy month, a day trip to Toronto with Amber, to meet and see The Wanted for a second time in the year, and the following day moving to Barrie, Ontario. Sadly my new job in Barrie didn't last long, and the job market wasn't great so it was very difficult for me to find a new job. After months of trying, and then finding out my dad would be moving to Nova Scotia in the summer I made the choice to move back to Alberta, where I picked up and came to in August. I've now lived here in my sister's basement for 3 months, and have been working for nearly 2 months now.

It seems crazy that the year was filled with so much, even little things I left out, like trips to Toronto Zoo with Amber and my roommate Chris, and other day adventures. And crazy to think that I've only known Amber for a little less then a year now, and also crazy to think I've moved twice within the year.

I had a horrible realisation tonight though, that as much as I love my current job and I am happy there, I will have to start looking for a full-time position as soon as possible, or try and find a second part-time job that will be willing to schedule me around my current job, as I definitely need more hours, and more money. So hopefully within January I manage that, I also need to sort out a way to take my GED test, and will hopefully start driving again in the new year, and eventually get my licence so I can stop taking public transit.

Well that's all for tonight, happy month of December everyone! :)

Truth.

Hello again, today was quite a busy day as I had a full 8 hour shift at work, which was then followed by 35 minutes of cardio at the gym before I finally made my way home. I've for sure been feeling the pain in my muscles for the past 2 days since my first work out session with Rily on Tuesday, yet find myself excited about tomorrows hour long session with him, yes I am of course also dreading it because I am already in so much pain. 

A few people have been speculating that I have joined the gym for one reason, and one reason only. That being that my current crush just so happens to work out there as well. This is false, and I am actually quite hurt people would assume I'd join a gym just because of that. I joined the gym for myself, it's something I knew I wanted to do before I even arrived in Alberta from Ontario, I had even in fact asked my friend Hayley if she wanted to be my work out buddy. However she sadly lives on the other side of the city from me so that wasn't going to work out. That left me deciding I may not join as I didn't care for the idea of going on my own. Finally after months of saying I'd work out from home, and failing to do so, and feeling crap about myself, I decided enough was enough and that it was time for me to join a gym. I decided on the one next to work, because it just so happens to be next to my work, this way I could get in a work out after work, and then head home. So to sum up, I 100% joined the gym for myself, for my self confidence, and to lose those few extra pounds that make me feel bad about myself. 

In any case, I'm really not too sure I'd want my crush to see me at the gym, as I'm still very self conscious, and don't wear makeup to the gym, and although I'm trying to work on my issues of thinking that I'm not good enough, I still haven't gotten through the faze of thinking I look far too plain without makeup on. So there we have it, the absolute truth.

Healthy Life.

So I will now be following sort of a strict "diet" if you will. Which really only means I'll now be ensuring I eat the proper amount of calories, drink enough water, and eat much less junk food. My grocery list will generally stay the same, but probably with a few veggies changing out a bit here and there. So I thought I'd post this blog as a constant reminder to myself to stick with it. I will be allowing myself a treat every 2 weeks, so every second Sunday, I will be allowed ONE item of junk food; such as a cookie, or a small piece of cake, or a little bit of ice cream. Only once every 2 weeks will I allow myself to do so, and I have to fit it into my calorie intake of the day as well.

• Frozen Berries (mixed)
• Gelatin Free Yogurt
• Milk
• Bread
• Almonds, Cashews, Walnuts, Pecans, and/or Pistachios
• Quinoa
• Lentils
• Apples
• Bananas
• Nectarines
• Strawberries, and/or Raspberries (fresh)
• Carrots
• Lettuce, and/or Mixed Greens
• Tomatoes
• Cucumbers
• Broccoli
• Spinach
• Asparagus
• Green Beans
• Vegetarian Meat Supplement (veggie nuggets, veggie burger, etc.)
• Raspberry Vinaigrette
• Oatmeal
• Peanut Butter
• Special K, and/or Mueslix Cereal

Well that about sums everything up I believe. So once I manage to do this very large grocery shop...money will be holding me back from being able to actually start this for right now; but I will hopefully get it done on 7th December. So technically on from 7th December grocery shopping shall be much easier, and stress free, as will planning out my meals. Hurrah!

Byeeee :)

Self Confidence.

Here I am again. No more long silences I promise, or at least I hope not. Today was my first day ever actually going to a gym...on my own. I went every now and again with my dad when I was a kid, and also went with my mum for a short time (however my mum and I only went to play Tennis and Squash). Today I had my trainer, who's called Rily. I will only have a total of 14 training sessions with him, which sort of sucks, but it will be nice to have him showing me the ropes on things, and getting me settled and started off on the right foot. 

I went in there with a goal to get down to 125 lbs. not realising how close I actually was to the mark I should be aiming for. Rily took my measurements, BMI, etc. and it turns out I should be aiming for 123 lbs. which is only 2 lbs. less then what I wanted to aim for, wow. Only did a short little circuit workout today, but actually ended up rowing 50 lbs, which is mental. I also did pushing squats with my legs however only lifted about 5 lbs there. Still my legs and arms both feel or rather felt like they would fall off for the first few hours after my workout.

I'm not too sure I'm keen on the change room, as I despise changing out in the open, although it's a woman's change room I'd much rather my privacy and be able to change in the comforts of a stall. However they do not seem to have any changing stalls in the locker room, only lockers, and showers. I also wish there was a punching bag, as I love those, but they do not have any. That being said, I didn't feel as uncomfortable in the gym as I thought I would once we got started, and definitely can already feel my self confidence being built on. It's nice going into a gym thinking you'll look a fool and terrified you won't be able to do anything, and then coming to the realisation that you can do it, and that it's really not so bad.

Apart from that really not too much else to report on at all. Other then I'm going to have to get cracking down on my healthy eating plan as soon as possible, and bring my calorie intake up as I am now working out. I generally eat about 1200 calories per day, but was told by my trainer I'll need to try and bring that closer to 1600 calories now that I'm working out...terrific. I have a hard enough time reaching 1200 as it is, now I have to try and reach 1600, yikes. I also need to try and cut pasta out of my "diet" which is horrific. Pasta is one of my major foods, and I'm not sure how I'll manage. Now he hasn't said to cut it out entirely but I need to ensure that my suppers are a replacement of that lean meat that I don't get as a vegetarian, so things like my veggie burgers, or a veggie and lentil salad will from now on have to do for dinner.

Well that is all for today, byeeee!

Silence.

I apologise for those of you who actually read and look forward to my blog posts for the silence in the past month. It was pointed out to me by a friend tonight, that I haven't been blogging. The reason behind this is because I really just don't have much to say as of late.

I've been busy with work, and life in general I suppose. Having good and bad days, and some very random fantastic days, where I feel like I'm on cloud nine and everything is right in the world. Those fantastic days are for some odd reason usually followed by a bad day. 

I joined the gym next to my work on Friday, and have a session with a trainer on Tuesday, which I'm actually dreading, yet looking forward to...if that makes any sense at all. The main reason I'm looking forward to it is because now I have no more excuses. I will finally be getting that kick in the ass I need, to lose the weight I want to, and I also think it will be very good for my self confidence. Today I spent a portion of my day writing some recipes in my Recipe Binder which is going to eventually be filled with yummy Vegetarian recipes ensuring I get the right amount of calories per day. Aside from that the rest of my day was spent being driven crazy by my nieces (whom I adore), watching some youtube video's, and trying not to die of boredom.

I will be going to my work Christmas party on the 8th of December as a way to get myself out of the house and have a social evening out. I think it will be really good for me as work is now my main "social outing". Thankfully I will also soon have the gym to keep me busy, and not just work.

I suppose that is all for now, so until next time byeee!

Those Little Moments.

I have been trying extra hard to stay positive for the past month now, but of course every now and then those little moments of feeling like crap, and feeling ugly, etc. always have their ways of sneaking up on you. 

For the past three days I just felt awful about myself, which is never fun. But I came to the realisation that it's the little things that bring joy back into your life, and start making you feel better. Little things like talking to one of your best friends on webcam, and a niece constantly telling you how pretty you are. The little things that make you realise "hey, I don't have it all that bad" of course I don't expect to feel great and 100% all the time, that's just impossible. There's no such thing as perfection and even though we are all so very aware of that fact, it seems as though we're always all trying to chase and achieve some form of perfection. 

Today was not by any means a day filled of lots of things. I in fact didn't do much, I got up and had some breakfast, before I worked out, and then got ready for my day, tried a new way of putting makeup on, and then picked my nieces and nephews up from school. I then helped them with their homework when we were done dinner, and even though, they all drive me a little crazy sometimes, and Auntie Katherine feels overwhelmed living with her nieces and nephews at times, I love them all so much, and some times just those little tiny moments I get with them make me smile, and make me realise, that life is wonderful!

P.S.
I'm finally back in the youtube world of vlogging if you want to check out my channel follow this link: http://www.youtube.com/user/KayBots89/videos?view=0

As well as my personal channel I have a collab. channel with my friend Lucy which you can check out here: www.youtube.com/twopottergirls if you like! :)

Intuition!

I'm back already. I feel like I have so much to talk about lately, or maybe it's more just that I like getting what's on my mind out. I've started feeling like blogging a lot lately, and have been holding myself back a bit. I've made one of the many notepads I own into a sort of journal where I've been writing out things for the past few days that I wanted to blog. I thought blogging every day might just be a bit much, so that the notepad would be a nice second outlet. 

It's 4am for me at the moment, and I'm restless. Although I feel tired enough to sleep, my mind is running at about a thousand miles a second, and I felt like now would be a perfect time to write out a blog. Every time I write a blog it seems to be in the very wee hours of the morning, so it must be when my mind is strangely most active. 

Anywho, for the past three days now I've been having these feelings in my gut like something big is going to happen, and strangely my mind keeps on going to one major thing, and I keep on pondering it, and wondering how this could come to pass in my life soon, but I suppose it could. Generally when I get this feeling, and something specific comes to mind, I've been right, and this is why I call it my intuition; hence the title of this blog. 

So if at some point of summer/fall of 2013 you find me blogging about a move to Ireland or the UK, then we will all know that my intuition was right on track. If this happens, I will be so, so happy, and I truly hope that I am right on this feeling. I keep on having small images of me in Cambridge around Christmas time, which is odd. I don't know why it's specifically Cambridge in these images, especially since I've only ever been there once, but yet it is. However this could also be nothing, and just my very vivid imagination popping things into the visual part of mind (does this even make sense?) that I want to see. Who knows?!

What I do know, is that for a nice change in the last 2 years, I have a plan, and who knows my intuition could just be spot on, and I might just get what I want out of life. I now believe and hope to always believe that if a dream is big enough, and important enough to you, that no matter the hurdles that come your way, you do everything you can, and you work at it, until you're able to reach that dream, because it's worth fighting for!

Sleepy times now, see you next time! :)

Curve Balls

Today's blog is all about life and the many curve balls we are thrown. My life hasn't exactly been my dream cuppa tea, nor has it been horrendous. My life may not have been as fantastical (yes I am aware that this is not an actual word) as I wanted it to have been, but I have come to realise that I wouldn't change it for anything.

I used to, and not even so long ago, sit around and feel sorry for myself. How absurd is that? Why would I want my life to have happened differently? If my past was not my past I wouldn't be the person that I am today. Yes I may not have yet achieved anything great in life, but I am still so very proud of who I am.

I feel and know that greatness will come; and one day I will get my happily-ever-after. But for now I need to start living my life for the moments, instead of in the past, and the unknown future. So to all those curve balls making their way to me now, give me your best, because I am ready to give you mine, and hit a home-run!

New Beginning

Well it's been a bit longer between posts then I wanted, but here I am again. 

I have officially started working which is nice, I thought it might be harder to start working again as I haven't had a job for 6 months, but it's so nice to get out of the house, and have something to do. For now it's just part-time but for part-time my hours are actually fairly decent. Considering I actually have 40 hours scheduled for the next 2 weeks. It may only be about 20 hours a week, but it's much better than nothing. I'd much prefer 30-40 hours a week rather than every two weeks, but I will for sure take what I can get at the moment.

On another note, I haven't been doing so well on the whole "not fantasizing" about my nieces grade 2 teacher, and now I have yet another guy added to the mix (of my fantasies that is...and when I say fantasies I do not mean pervy ones) he's a cute, quite young, ginger lad, from Scotland at work. I've not said more then hello to him, as he only just started today, and today was only my second shift, but boyle he's got two of my weaknesses (ginger hair, and a Scottish accent - sexiest accent out there!) so obviously there will be some sort of fantasizing going on there.

Not much else to report I'm afraid, but will give a puppy update. We named Mini Hercules, Bandit,  and his eyes are both opened (one opened yesterday, and one today). His ears are opening as well, and he's growing by the minute. Such an adorable little pup, I keep on trying to persuade my Brother In-Law to let me keep Bandit, but to no avail. Ah well, can't win all of our battles I suppose.

That is all for now, so until next time, buh-bye! 

R.I.P Little Puppies

Yesterday morning my sister and I had the great pleasure to see her Chihuaha Electra give birth to 3 beautiful pups.

We nick named them according to how they looked.
Spotted puppy: Moo
Brown Puppy: Mini Electra (mamma dog)
B&W Puppy: Mini Hercules (papa dog)

We sadly lost two of the pups today; Mini Electra, and Moo. So this is for those beautiful little puppies, who only got to spend one day on earth. May they rest in peace, and stay forever happy in Puppy Heaven.

26th September 2012 - 27th September 2012

Moo

Mini Electra

Love you forever & always!

Carrying On.

I keep on telling myself I'm going to start blogging regularly, and then I don't ever sit down and write a blog. I thought that this morning would be a good start. Well second start, I deleted my old posts as I wasn't fully happy with them.

I want to start off by setting some goals for myself. I would really like to start exercising again, my weight is something I have struggled with my whole life, I may only have a few extra pounds on, but those few extra pounds really bother me. I always shrug it off and say oh well "I like to eat what I want, when I want" and I do, I really don't think that, that is something I will ever change about myself. I don't think I should have to sacrifice any foods or go on some extreme diet to lose some weight. Ideally I'd like to lose about 20 pounds, and that doesn't sound like much fun. But I'm gonna try, because I really don't think that lounging about and moaning that I wish I was thinner will make a difference. I need to get off my lazy butt and take some action. 

My weight isn't the only thing I need to take action on/in I need to apply that way of thinking to everything. I'm a dreamer. I like to sit and wish that all of these things were going on in my life, but that's all I do. I never take action. Well sometimes I do, but it generally doesn't work out as planned when I do take action, which is a huge bummer. My other issue is that if I fail once, I have the tendency to think it's all over. It's not worth trying again, because it didn't work out. That's such a horrible attitude to have. I should just restrategize, and come up with a new plan of action, and then finally when the time is right FIRE!

So here are my other goals: Finally get my high school diploma, learn how to drive and get my licence,  make a career choice and stick to that path, write a book and try to get it published, and last but most importantly BE HAPPY!

Things I shouldn't do: Fantasize about my nieces grade 2 teacher (even if he is 22 and extremely good looking), obsess over how miserable single life is, spend all of my money every time I get some, cry because I'm not in England, panic over every little thing that goes wrong.

Things I should do: Relax. Let myself enjoy single life, it's nice not being tied down to a person. Remind myself that I'm only 23 and I have plenty of time to sort out my life. Be myself no matter what. Enjoy the present, and stop dwelling on the past, or hoping for the future. 

For all I know my future can be even more rubbish then my present is, and to be honest with myself my past hasn't been that great. So I need to just stop thinking about what was, and what is going to be, and enjoy the NOW.