Today I made the official choice that it's time for a new beginning, time to remember my dreams and discover new ones. Time to start the long, hard process of moving on. Part of me feels as though for Dave, letting go of me, and letting go of our relationship is easy, but I really don't know that. I have no idea how he's feeling about all this, and it will do me no good to sit around and have negative thoughts about it all.
I have thoroughly enjoyed my time writing blogs here, but as a part of my new beginnings I have set up a new blog. Hence this one having part 2 in the title, though in reality I suppose this one is part 1, after all I am writing it first. None the less this is my farewell to blogspot, but not my farewell to blogging all together.
To new beginnings, possibilities, dreams, and a positive outlook.
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Sunday 29 September 2013
Saturday 28 September 2013
Life.
This has truly been one of the hardest years of my life. I cannot say that I will be sad to see it go, and ring in the new year of 2014. Here's to hoping 2014 has much better things in store for me!
So to start January was okay, I moved into this place with Hayley and Stacey at the end of the month, and things were looking ok. I was still going to the gym at the time with a personal trainer and shedding the pounds I had wanted to shed for years. I was turning into a confident young woman that I never thought I would be.
February, was when for the first time in my (at the time) 23 years of life I started dating, yes I am well aware it took me longer than pretty much everyone else, but hey. My first attempt failed miserably, and I was left feeling like a complete chump, second attempt failed as well, but was much easier to move on from, no offence at all intended to that person, just one date isn't exactly hard to get over, if we're being honest. Third attempt; Dave, my first ever serious relationship. Voila I had hit the jackpot, he was nice, sweet, seemed to like me, and things were moving along; that is until we hit our first of many bumps in the road. None the less I fell in love, I wanted it to work, I fought for it, I started picturing a different future, molding it into something that could work with him, letting go of my dreams. I never did manage to let go of my fear of actually talking to someone when things were wrong though, and quite recently that's what brought our relationship to an end for the final time.
I will miss him. I already do, and I know that without a doubt I will never forget, he was and always will be my FIRST love. But maybe one day in the future I'll be able to let go, to move on, maybe somewhere out there is my TRUE love.
Aside from that there was also my gallbladder surgery on Wednesday (which also just happens to be the morning of the break-up), and then the cherry on top having collections after me. The stress, and pain both physical and emotional are immense right now, but with the help and support of my family and friends, I will make it through. Life will get better, and I will carry on!
So to start January was okay, I moved into this place with Hayley and Stacey at the end of the month, and things were looking ok. I was still going to the gym at the time with a personal trainer and shedding the pounds I had wanted to shed for years. I was turning into a confident young woman that I never thought I would be.
February, was when for the first time in my (at the time) 23 years of life I started dating, yes I am well aware it took me longer than pretty much everyone else, but hey. My first attempt failed miserably, and I was left feeling like a complete chump, second attempt failed as well, but was much easier to move on from, no offence at all intended to that person, just one date isn't exactly hard to get over, if we're being honest. Third attempt; Dave, my first ever serious relationship. Voila I had hit the jackpot, he was nice, sweet, seemed to like me, and things were moving along; that is until we hit our first of many bumps in the road. None the less I fell in love, I wanted it to work, I fought for it, I started picturing a different future, molding it into something that could work with him, letting go of my dreams. I never did manage to let go of my fear of actually talking to someone when things were wrong though, and quite recently that's what brought our relationship to an end for the final time.
I will miss him. I already do, and I know that without a doubt I will never forget, he was and always will be my FIRST love. But maybe one day in the future I'll be able to let go, to move on, maybe somewhere out there is my TRUE love.
Aside from that there was also my gallbladder surgery on Wednesday (which also just happens to be the morning of the break-up), and then the cherry on top having collections after me. The stress, and pain both physical and emotional are immense right now, but with the help and support of my family and friends, I will make it through. Life will get better, and I will carry on!
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